Thunderstorms, Fireflies, and Jersey Tomatoes, Summer in New Jersey.

Being back in New Jersey for summer has been a time traveling experience. The hazy, hot and humid days make my skin sweat and never dry. The thunderstorms that come every few days can wake me in the middle of the night or make driving home from the shore quite exciting. Sitting down to eat Jersey corn and tomatoes brings a smile to my face. Fireflies provide fireworks every night. I love it.

I am transported back to my childhood at every turn. As my feet burn on the flagstone sidewalks near the beach, I am again seven years old. As I shuck corn to cook and eat, I am eleven and sitting with my grandmother on the back porch doing the same task. As I see the fireflies I am five and chasing them – hoping to catch one and keep it in a jar to see its light up close. I have time these days to feel the summer as I did as a child – long and lazy.

Another part of me though is right here in 2007. Folks in New Jersey and New York seem to enjoy complaining – it seems to be a form of entertainment. Talk radio is made up of talk about corrupt politicians and “terrible” laws being passed. When I am in New York City, I am newly overwhelmed with the size and the crowds,the noise and the dirt. Everyone is very busy, even when it is very hot. The real estate section of the New York Times seems only to have homes that start at over a million dollars. The stores on 5th Ave are very expensive and so are the cab rides.

Having lived in Seattle for 26 years and then so recently driving across the country, I see the Northeast with different eyes. I used to think everyone in the country aspired to living somewhere between Boston and Washington D.C. Surely it was the best part of the country, the most sophisticated and lively place to be. Now I see a place that seems so very different from the rest of the country as to be almost out of step with the regular world. Or perhaps it is just me as I interact with the Northeast. Perhaps it is me who is out of step.

There is so much that is a part of my roots and heritage here and yet it is no longer me. I had to come back to the east to see if it was calling me back and now I know that it is not. I yearn for more the more open spaces of the west and the attitudes of tolerance that I know in Seattle.

And yet… I want to be here when the corn is ready and the tomatoes and red and the lightning bugs come out at night.

Update July 12, 2007

I know too much time has gone by since I updated my blog. I’d like to tell you I have been too busy to write but that wouldn’t be the truth. The truth is… well I don’t really know what that would be. I guess that writing hasn’t been of interest to me.

Since summer started I have been reading a lot, sitting in the sun, going to the shore, running /walking and contemplating my next step on this journey. I have been plagued with confusion and doubt about what to do next.


I have been able to get to the Jersey Shore and visit with cousins I had not seen in many years. I went to New York City and saw the Fourth of July Fireworks – amazing. They had 3 barges filled with explosives and the display went on for a half hour! New York does things in a big way. The weather was more Seattle like than east coast that day and it seemed odd since I have gotten used to it being hot.

I am exploring spending three months in Hawaii for the winter. I would house sit for a friend and then work at a retreat center on the big island. I have also applied to the International Executive Corps. They place consultants for short and longer stays abroad, helping businesses and non- governmental agencies (non-profits). I have also found out more about getting a certificate to teach English as a second language so I can travel and teach and get paid!

Just in the past week I have found myself missing having a home, a place of my own. Living with my sister has been great and for a while I really liked not feeling bound anywhere. Now I find myself wanting to really unpack and have my own space – but where? I am not ready to return to Seattle full time. I will return for a while before going to Hawaii. But I am not ready to ‘go home’.

I am getting ready to want to leave the east coast. But that’s another entry.

On July 18th I am flying back to Seattle for ten days to visit my daughter and go on retreat with the women’s group I have been part of for over 25 years! I am looking forward to seeing everyone, even though I feel a bit adrift again. I know the love and care of good friends will help.

More later! Libbie