Going to the Sunny side of the Island

Just after I wrote last, I came to realize that staying at Kalani for three months is not what I was called to do. Writing on this trip has helped me so many times to clarify my thoughts and feelings and I am grateful for that.

I realized that I felt way too isolated at Kalani and while the people I met there were wonderful I just didn’t have it in me to start a whole new community. Did I mention that it also rained everyday at Kalani and that I always felt vaguely wet? I have a deep and loving community in Seattle and being part of the recovery community has allowed me to make this trip and find community wherever I go. After praying and listening for what to do I emailed a friend who lives in Kailua-Kona on the opposite side of the island of Hawaii.

I asked my friend if she knew of any possibilities for house sitting or perhaps a job near her. I figured I would trust that if it was meant for me to leave I would find something and if not I would stay at Kalani. Within a few hours, my friend had found me housing for a few weeks and the possibility of two different jobs! Not only that, her sister was visiting and they had planned to drive over to the part of the island on I was in two days, so they came and picked me up! I felt truly blessed!

I left Kalani on Tuesday, October, 23rd. It was raining as we left and I felt good about my decision. We visited Volcano National Park on the way back and I was taken to the house I could stay in after dinner with my friend and her sister. It is a beautiful house that overlooks Kailua Bay. I had my own bathroom (not sharing with 13 others) and a wonderful bedroom to myself. I will be able to stay here for almost three weeks.

If I learn nothing else on this trip, I hope I will remember that there is always help available and that listening to my heart is a good thing. I am so glad I met the folks I did at Kalani and that I had the experiences I did have there. I am just as glad to be on the sunny side of the island now near a community of support that is more familiar to me.

Already I have had the opportunity to swim and snorkel and meet new friends. I even got to travel to the top of Mauna Koa Mountain to see the sunset. But that is another entry.

Thank you to everyone at Kalani and especially Estee for her friendship and support to help me get to this sunny side!

Life at Kalani

It started with a Google search: “volunteer at retreat centers”. Kalani Oceanside Retreat came up. The center is located 45 minutes from Hilo on the Big Island of Hawaii. This is the rainy side of the island and so it is wet, lush and beautiful.

I am living in a double room with a woman from Texas who is older. I share a single bathroom with 13 other volunteers! Most volunteers seem to be in their late 20’s and gay – men and women. The center is promoted as a gay destination. We work at various jobs (I work in the kitchen) about 25 hrs per week and the rest of the time is our own. The black sand beach is 1½ miles down the road. One volunteer told me she swam with dolphins at the beach yesterday. Today I went into the one street town of Pahoa. It’s the one place I can get cell coverage. This is a very isolated part of the island.

What have I learned so far?

1. Bugs don’t bother me- there are a ton here! There are lots of tiny sugar ants, flying cockroaches, and mosquitoes.
2. I don’t like being damp all the time. It’s almost like Seattle only warm and so nothing dries out. Mold grows on everything really fast. The winter is the rainy season – something I didn’t know before I came.
3. Sharing a room again for the first time in over 30 years is quite different and a bit of a challenge.
4. Being an oldster is a new experience. Most of the folks here could be my children.
5. Having so many gay men here, I feel invisible as a woman.
6. I am not a hippie. Most people here are very alternative in their views and lifestyles. I am much more mainstream than I thought.
7. I do like that I have a lot of support for the adventure I am on. Most everyone here is on sometime of journey or they have ended a journey by living at Kalani full time.

Surprisingly, I am recognizing that being alone and away from family and friends is losing it’s appeal. Most folks here are looking to ‘find themselves’ and have time to just ‘be’. They are getting away from or leaving behind an old life. I have been doing that for 8 months and now I find I am not so interested in that anymore. I have learned a lot about just ‘being’. Also, I am getting very tired of living out of suitcases and meeting new people all the time. I want to start to integrate being and doing now. Working actually interests me now. Who would have thought that was going to happen?

Personalities here are wide and varied. I watch and listen to the gossip already. There is drama and knowing looks I see from the people who have lived here for many month and even years. There are cliques just like in any small closed community.

Am I glad I came? Yes, if for no other reason than for the experience. Will I stay the full three months that I planned? Somehow I don’t think so. I am looking into going over to Kona, on the dry side of the island where I have a Seattle friend. Perhaps I can find a room and a part time job so I can stay the winter in Hawaii and fulfill a live long dream of not just visiting but living on a tropical island.

Aloha!

Walking the labyrinths

I have now walked all five labyrinths on Maui. Two of them were painted on blacktop surfaces, one was laid out in a garden with orchids around it and two were at the far west end of the island, laid out in white coral rock and overlooking the sea. Amazing!

Walking these meditation labyrinths has been especially meaningful to me. Being in Hawaii seems to be a juncture. I have now just over half way through what I plan to be a year away. I don’t know what will come next, but I have gotten much better at living in the NOW. The labyrinths help.

When I enter the labyrinth I cannot see how to get to the center. I can only see the clarity of the path for a few yards, I can see that there are twists and turns coming up but I can’t anticipate what they will be exactly. Sounds like life doesn’t it? All but one of the labyrinths here is based on the original one that is in the Chartres Cathedral in France. The first few steps into the labyrinth look like they will take me right to the center but –no- the path turns and follows right next to the center but there is a barrier of rocks which tell me that I will not get there right away. I must keep walking.

It seems that when I start out a project or a plan or a dream, the same thing happens. The energy of the beginning moves me quickly into the experience and I believe it will be created or finished soon. Along the way though I have twists and turns in the process. No real dead ends but rather adjustments that need to be made and often it seems like my goal gets further and further away. It is so with the labyrinth. After walking so close to the center, the path takes me right out to the far edge and then slowly brings me to the center. I try to look far ahead to see how or what will be the path, but it is useless. The only way to see it is to do it, walk it, and find out in the walking. So I stop looking ahead and focus on each step.

That is the journey for this year – to focus on each step and not try to look too far ahead. Fears of financial ruin or lifelong lonely drifting come up but I make myself come back to the present, to what I have, to the support I know, to the gratitude I feel and I trust that I will get to the center of things and then return with peace, abundance, love, and passion.

Life on Maui Part II

Well here are a few hard things about Maui: gas is $3.58 a gallon, milk is $9.00 for a gallon and I looked at getting a red pepper in the supermarket and it would have been over $2.00. The cost of living is 27% higher than Seattle (found that on a website)! And we who come from Seattle know how high it is for us. The largest crime on the island is breaking and entering – cars and houses.

Now back to the good stuff. I have stopped watch the weather on TV since it is the same every day! Where I am staying is at the junction of the wetter part of the island and drier part so almost every afternoon since I have been here there has been a brief light shower while the sun is out sooooo …. I have seen 4 rainbows! They are so magical and I hopeful. I know now why the Hawaiian license plate has a rainbow on it.

On my journey this year I have had the chance to find a number of Labyrinths. I have walked them in Sedona, AZ and Galveston, TX and now Maui!

A labyrinth is a spiritual tool, a body prayer, a walking meditation, and a mystical experience. The motif is unique to the gothic Notre-Dame de Chartres Cathedral located 42 miles southwest of Paris and dating to 1220 A.D. There an ancient 42-foot diameter labyrinth is embedded in the paving stones of the nave floor. Nota bene, a labyrinth is not a maze. There are no forks in the road or confusing dead ends. The labyrinth is unicursal. The path never crosses over itself and culminates in only a single cul-de-sac, the goal at the center. To walk a labyrinth one simply enters and follows the meandering course to the center; pauses to meditate; then retraces the exact path out, from the sacred to the everyday world.

There are five labyrinths on Maui. One at an Orchid Garden, one at a Catholic school, one at an Episcopal Church and two built from white coral overlooking the ocean. I have been to two so far and have plans to see and walk another today and then the two coral ones soon. Visiting them and walking the meditations gives me a focus for the day and feels very grounding.

While I am occasionally lonely here (there are lots of honeymoon type couples around the resort areas) I know that this is a resting spot for me. Thanks to all of your who answer and listen when I call- especially when I tell you it is sunny here and raining where you are.

Life on Maui Part I

I have now been on Maui for a week. A friend from Seattle sent me a picture of the rainy day she was having and I must admit that I was happy not to be there. The best thing so far about Maui is the weather. It is about 84 every day and about 70 every night. We have very brief showers about every other day and sometimes it is a bit windy. The sun is up at 6:30 and down at 6:30. The days won’t get much shorter than now as the solstice draws near. I like the sameness, I like the sun, and I like the breezes.


I am staying at a friend’s house in Makawao. Makawao is ‘up country’ towards the dormant volcano and on the northeast side of the island. We get more rain here (1500ft above sea level) than where the resorts are. The resorts are on the other side the island. That’s fine with me. Here, the folks of Maui live, the year round; go to work and come home folks. It is a nice neighborhood of small houses with big lots. Some folks have two houses on the lot – one a cottage that they rent out. I am staying in a large studio apartment in a house. My windows look out on a gully of tall eucalyptus trees. Cardinals and finches come to the bird feeder and it is quiet. My friend has over 20 orchid plants, about ten are blooming now. On my morning walks I see hibiscus, plumaria, avocado trees and flowers I don’t know the names for. Wonderful.

The town of Makawao is very small, just a few blocks of old Hawaiian storefronts, most of which have shops for tourists. This is the ranching part of the island, and home to many of the new age, hippie folks of the island. People still feel safe to hitch hike and flip-flops seems like the only type of shoe that is worn. The best surfing beach is on this side of the island and so you see a lot of surfers as well.

My first weekend here I got to do two local Maui things: go to the weekly swap meet and also the County fair. The swap meet had fruits and veggies I have never seen: dragon fruit, bread and jack fruit as well as beautiful tropical flowers for pennies. There were Hawaiian gift items and locally made baked goods – all very different but I was comforted by seeing that I could get tube socks too, just like any swap meet at home!

The county fair was a mixture of familiar and new too. I am struck by how strong the native Hawaiian culture is here. I feel like I am visiting another country in some ways and I like that. The fair had displays and competitions of orchids and fruit (strange ones like at the swap meet) as well as a huge pumpkin (762 lbs)! There were the regular rides and games as well as hula shows. There was cotton candy and fried Twinkies and elephant ears as well as tripe stew, pork dishes, Philippine dishes and Korean dishes. I loved it all!

The people I have met have been very friendly. I have gone to the beach once and driven around a little. I will do more of both. I ask myself, could I live here? For the weather – yes! For everything else? I will wait and see. Part II coming soon!