The picture is of my friend and I at her house on maui.
On my journey this year I have stayed with friends along the way. The shortest time was one night; the longest was my time with my sister in New Jersey. I was there for three months. Staying with friends has taught me so much about me. I have also learned a lot about the many ways people go about living.
Everyone I visited has their own way of folding towels or loading the dishwasher or driving the car. Each visit was like being Margaret Mead in a new culture and society. I had the chance to observe how different people went about their lives. One friend always loads the dishwasher from back to front, another has a special way the plates go in and still others don’t use the machine at all – they hand wash and then sanitize them in the washer. Everyone ‘taught’ me how to do the dishes at their house. Their way of doing it was the way – they didn’t insist – it was just their preferences. I was happy to do the chores however they wanting since they were all so gracious to let me stay.
I started to think about how I do things when I am in my own home. Is there a particular way I load the dishwasher – do I think it is the ‘right’ way? I am told the dishwasher loading preferences can create many an argument between spouses and that someone studied how many ways there were to load the dishes – there were thousands! Still the way each one of us goes about our chores is Our Way and if we do not interact with many others around those same chores, they become THE way to do them.
This year is teaching me that I do not have to hold on so tight to the way something get done. Preferences are great but they are just that – preferences. There are no rules about so many things in life. There are so many choices of how life can work and I find that my identity is less and less connected to the way I DO things as it is connected to the way I AM with things. I have grown so much more flexible this year – I hope the habit will be so set that it carries me through whatever comes next.
For now I will continue to learn about myself through the gracious gift of friends and new acquaintances, which teach me. Thank you to all of you who have housed and feed me. You are a blessing in my life!
