Grand, Grand Canyon

I spent the night in Williams, AZ before going to the Grand Canyon. I had planned this to be my third National Park of the trip. I was going to go to Zion and Bryce Canyon but eight inches of snow the day I was going to go convinced me that I didn’t want to experience snow on this trip.

When I got up in the morning at Williams though it was 22 degrees! Spring comes late to the Rockies. I had a fun breakfast at the Route 66 diner and then headed to the park. I must have seen hundreds of pictures of the Grand Canyon in my life and part of me thought, “I could pass this up, I know what the Canyon looks like- pretty, but do I really need to see it?” This is a confession – I am sure that many of you reading this are aghast at my having those thoughts but it’s the truth.

Well the truth is actually bigger than that. The truth is I was afraid to see the Grand Canyon. I don’t like heights. I especially don’t like places where you can look over and down for miles on a small ledge. That’s part of why I didn’t like mountain pass driving. Recently, I had seen the news footage of the opening of the skywalk at the north rim of the Canyon. Folks could walk out on a glass walk- 75 feet over the canyon and look down over a mile above the Colorado River. I got sweaty just watching the news footage.

But I went. I drove the hour to the park and got a spot in the parking lot. Since it was cold and late March there were not tons of visitors. I knew what my fear was. I was afraid I would jump!

Jump? Why would I be afraid of doing that? Who would have a fear of that? Am I completely crazy? I walked the path on the rim towards the historic hotels of the park. I would see folks going beyond the path and taking pictures out on the ledges and I would get a catch in my throat. I helped some families take pictures and I looked OUT not down at the Canyon. Slowly I stopped my fearful heart long enough to really see the canyon. It was GRAND.

I was looking at eternity. I wanted everyone to be silent. The whole of life and history was there. I could see snow showers moving across the north side. I could see the colors of the layers of the history of this planet. I understood again the concept of AWE. I was in the presence of eternity and I wanted to be with it.

While I was taking this all in the most amazing thing happened. Three giant California condors soared by me right at eye level. They have made their home in the canyon as a way to preserve them from extinction. Their wingspan is larger than the Bald Eagle. They are majestic. Everyone stopped talking and watched them soar up and then down into the canyon. And then I knew why I feared myself jumping.

I wanted to fly. I wanted to soar through the canyon, through life. I wanted to be free of gravity like the giant Condors. I wanted to fly with eternity and yet still be in this world. The condors had their way, I am seeking mine.